Current status: it’s 2 AM and I’m eating peanut butter watching Ze Frank videos. Why? I would like to know that too. Apparantly my mind only works at night. Also, it is scientifically proven that you always find your way to a Ze Frank video when you’re feeling down…kind of. The one that resonates right now is abot beginnings, being stuck between zero and one.
So let me be honest. I am afraid. Afraid of being honest about myself because people might treat me like I treat me sometimes, which is not very good. I am afraid to put my work out into the world because it won’t be just mine anymore. Afraid that I will be judged, that I will be wrong and that I will fail. Afraid of the journey, because the roads are bumpy and I keep questioning if it’s even worth it, why should I bother.
I have 99 problems and pretty much all of them are hypothetical situations which I have been worrying about while I could have been doing something else. It’s to late to start, I’ll never make it. There’s no way I am good enough compared to all those people. How do I quiet my doubts? Maybe I have to prove myself wrong, and I guess the only way of doing that is by jumping in the water to find out if you can swimm. The first step is the hardest.. well the two hundred and eight might be hard too, but are you really contempt standing at the shore?
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