Fangirl tales.

One thing you should know about me is that I am not capable of liking anything. I either get obsessed with it and let it completely consume my life or I don’t like it at all.

That being said, you can imagine that movies, books, music etc. have always had a big impact on me. Here’s a little list of some of the most memorable things that had an impact on me.

P!nk- Conversations with my 13 year old self. When I stumble across one of her emotional songs I’m back to my 13 year old self confused and crying in my room. How could you describe me so well? She will always be my strong role model. You can be tough even though you are vulnerable.

Linkin Park- Valentine’s day. In eight grade I heard a song on the radio and fell in love. Damn that day. Thanks to that, a year later I met a boy…back when you would still bond over music because it was the most important think to ask people. Two years after that, I got my heart broken, as you do. That’s the story of why the best way to piss me of is to play a LP song. For a long time if you asked me what I would like to forget about my past it would be that story, but even though it was painful I don’t think so anymore because the painfull stuff helped shape the person I am today.

“People always leave”- Peyton Sawyer, who by the way is the coolest person ever.I wanted to be Peyton Sawyer, black Converse and all. Living in a teenage drama town like One tree hill, was the dream. Thanks to that I became a music geek and my playlist would often be a mix of all genres, r’n’b next to heavy metal next ro reggae. My room had a different color every month (sorry mum) and I will forever love that show because it inspired me to start exploring art.

“One preson’s craziness is another person’s reality.” – Tim Burton. He was a great inspiration for a long time, along with Helena Bonham Carter and their adopted child- Johnny Depp. Because of them, I fell in love with movies and it made me consider the ‘behind the scenes’ aspect of movie making. They also taught me that being a little weird is perfectly fine. My andmirarion can also be seen here:  


If you're a fan you'll know


Or equals three. Or the first youtube show I ever watched. I met my best friend because of bonding over that show. To most people those are just silly videos, but to me it opened a whole new way to see the world over the internet. And not just fun videos and fighting in the comment section but a way to share and hear personal stories. There is a sense of community and an opportunity to learn about each other that wasn’t present before. We have endless information about anything, so if you have internet connection, being ignorant is really a choice.

That was only a few honorable mentions and there are many more things I generally fan girl about, which we could maybe discuss in a later post. I may not like some of those things anymore but at one point they helped shape me as a person and this deep impact it can have is really the importance of art.

Coffe o’clock

“This morning,
with her,
having coffee.”

– Johnny Cash, when asked for his description of paradise.

What I enjoy about having coffee is not the coffee. It’s that little time out, that little moment you get for yourself before you have to rush to work. Or that moment you share with a friend sitting in a coffee shop. That little moment that feels like time is moving slower and everything is going to be just fine.

In response to the Writing101 assignment. I didn’t have inspiration for a longer post.

Letter to my depressed self

Dear depressed procrastinating me,

This is sane me talking, you know, the part of us that likes to think I got my stuff figured out. I see you laying in the bed at 2 AM or 8 AM and not wanting to get up, not feeling good enoung. I know what you’re thinking about. Is it even worth it? Why should I even try accomplishing anything, it won’t matter to anyone. Pants are overrated, I’ll just watch TV shows all day.

You know what? You’re a selfish bitch. Because every time you feel like taking control and letting go, not accomplishing things, you make a mess which I have to fix. You leave me behind my scheduled, tasks i have to finish and often don’t succeed. But I am tired of always fighting with you, so this time, I’m just going to say: ‘please’. Please get out of bed, please make yourself do something, even just a little something and please think of me. The me that actually has hopes and dreams that are maybe to big. The me that isn’t fine with just existing, that doesn’t want to die before 25, figuratively or litteraly.

Please, we have enough things to worry about, we can’t be fighting with ourselves.

Learn how to see / Quotes

To develop a complete mind: study the science of art; study the art of science. Learn how to see. Realize that everything connects to everything else.” – Leonardo da Vinci

When I was younger I wanted to become a surgeon. Today I’m grateful I didn’t go down that road, mostly because… well school. Anyways, I wanted to know everything about the human body and I would always research anatomy. I even drew myself a skeleton which is still on my wall. Everyone say hi to Buddy. And please be nice to him, I was just staring to draw back then.


As I was also interested in art and history, secret societies and all, I stumbeled acros Leonardo da Vinci.  He surely was a colorful personality back in the day.A mathematical genius, he supposedly had the idea for every invention ever made. He could write with both of his hands. He had a fabulous beard. He was vegetarian. There is a ninja turtel namad after him and we don’t even have to mention his art. Lastly, he had a liking to digging up corpes and disecting them. Actually, modern medicine has a lot to thank to his sketches.

“The human foot is a masterpiece of engineering and a work of art.”

Think about how our bones are connected, how your muscles move them. Every nerve is connected so that we can experience taste, sound, sight. Every atom is and has function. A human is a precisely engineered organism, just like nature itself. When you look at a leaf, you can see how all of its veins connect and you could trace them all the way back to the roots of the tree. Leonardo was a big advocate of art being inspired by nature. It isn’t just painters and photographers, whole buildings can be modeled to resemble nature, all the way down to it’s structural elements. You can see it in science too. Airplanes that imitate the flight of birds, mathematical formulas to describe the spirals on a snail. The same spirals and geometrical laws that can be find in the composition of paintings.
In order to draw a better picture of the human body, you have to know it’s anatomy. There is a profound connection between science and art and inspiration and knowledge often come from unexpected places.

Honestly, I am not completely sure if Leonardo da Vinci actually said ths quote because you can find a lot on the Internet and apparently Albert Einstein also said a lot of things, but I think it doesn’t really matter. It is the idea behind it that matters. The fact thet so many people can be touched and inspired by a few well arranged words is truly astonishing.

A map to a paper town

Last week I finaly got to see the Paper Towns movie so I wanted to make a post. Mostly I just wanted to have a reason to share my drawing inspired by the book:


Yes I actually went outside to pin that down and take a picture while my neighbours were awkwardy staring.

Great. Now that the grounds are all covered. The book/movie deals with misinterpretation of another person. Idealising someone, imagening them as more than they are. A fenomenon often called ‘having a crush’. I can say I’m guilty.I tend to create a picture of someone in my head based on very little information, which is a very unhealthy habit. That way, I’m just setting myself up for disappointment and and setting unfair expectations on the other person.

We often find it hard to see another person as someone who has fears and stays up at night thinking about life and what they are doing with it and how cool it would be to have a howerboard ( and I mean an actual howering one , not one of those segways every internet person is beeing anoying with, even thaugh they do seem kind of great). Anyway, it made me think about my own need to meet other people’s expectations and how I wory about being perceived a certain way, when often you are already a simplified concept in their mind just as they may be in yours. Like that one guy who went to kindergarten with you who ate his boogers and now you just know him as that guy who ate his booger even thaugh he’s a grown up with a life and you don’t know him at all. It’s hard to imagine others as more than a concept, something separated from us, an idea of what they might be, someone who we don’t realize is as complex as we are. If we could remind ourselves that the other person is also human, in fact as much human as we are, it could save us quite some trouble.

Unless there is a possibility they are an alien projecting in a human body. In that case, I don’t know.. one love? 

And the movie was great by the way.

Home is yourself


This quote reminded me of a similar one from The Wizard of Oz : „Home is knowing your mind, knowing your heart, knowing your courage. If we know ourselves, we’re always home, anywhere.“

Growing up I never felt like I belong in the place I was. I always had planes how one day I’m going to move away and travel the world. Years later and growing apart from some people who made this place feel more like home, I realized what I actually didn’t like wasn’t the place. It was the person I am in this place and you can’t run away from yourself no matter where you go. Luckily I learned that I don’t depend on my surroundings  as much as I think I do and this person and this body are pretty much the only constant thing. Places change, people go, but you stay. If you’re lucky, you are home and if you’re even more lucky you’ll have someone else to share your home.

Skin pictures

A picture is worth a thousand words. How about a picture on your skin ?

For me drawings have always been a way to share a story because words don’t cone rhat easy. Tattoos, I think, are one of the most fascinating art forms. When I look at someone’s tattoo, I can’t help but wonder about the story behind it. And even it doesn’t have a deeper meaning, what they decide to put on their skin forever, can tell you a lot about a person. The lyrics of a German song always pop to mind : “your tattoos are the map to you”.

In some cultures they were considered sacred and highly honored. Symbols often have hidden meanings and it’s always interesting to discover new ones.

I stumbled upon this one today. I don’t know what the person from the picture had in mind but I know the mandala is a symbol for unity and wholness. The colors of the rainbow have become a symbol of the Gay Pride movement and acceptence. I like to think it’s an represantation of that. How we are all connected no matter your color or who you love.

So yeah.. Some people don’t like them, at most places they are considered unprofessional, but for me they are an inspiration. An invitation for my mind to wonder, about the story and the person because they are often more than they seem.